Sunday, July 9, 2017

Prom: The Third Girl


In the spring of 1986, elections were held for student body and class officers.  First up were the student body elections, and I had more friends running for office than could win.  I was worried, knowing that at least a few of my friends would lose, and there was one in particular that I was concerned about.

I had met Evelyn the previous fall, one of many I met through the ever increasing circle of friends I was experiencing.  At the time she was battling a low self esteem, something I had had a lot of experience with.  But I saw a hint of something in the wall flower, and over the next several weeks I watched as her confidence grew and she blossomed into one of the prettiest girls in school.  Now she was running for student body officer, but I was worried that she might still be a little fragile.

Sally was also running in the election and everyone, it seemed, expected her to win.  When they announced the winners, I was overjoyed that Evelyn had won, but I was also concerned for Sally, who had not.  It could not have been easy to lose an election in which you were considered one of the favorites to win.

The election for senior class officers followed the very next week -- once again Sally ran and was again considered a favorite to win.  But she didn’t win, and this time she took it very hard.  I heard that she had hurried home before anyone could talk to her and I wished that I could do something to cheer her up.

I went to a stationary store looking for a card I could give to Sally, but none that I looked at really seemed right.  So I went home and wrote a simple note of encouragement and walked it over to her house.  Since it was just after Easter, I included a few jelly beans with the note.  The next day, Sally gave me a note in which she expressed gratitude for “the nicest note” and said that it had really made her day.

That spring I tried out for Concert Choir.  I had taken Barbershop that semester, which was just the name for the boys choir, and Concert Choir, a mixed group of boys and girls, was the next thing.  There were 66 boys trying out for 60 slots, so it seemed that at least a few of us were going to be disappointed.  Somehow I managed to convince myself that it would be a huge failure if I did not make it, which probably made for a bit more drama in my life than was necessary.  In the end, the choir director decided to take all 66 boys, and I went around the school excitedly telling my friends that I had made it.

I made another group that spring when the photography teacher asked me to be on the yearbook staff for my senior year.  I loved photography but was not sure I had enough talent to be a yearbook photographer, an honor that had been extended to both of my older brothers.  I was happy to accept the invitation, but I figured that I would have to work harder than the other photographers.

Soon enough the school year ended, and it was not very long before I was missing all of my new friends.  One day I was feeling very lonely, and I called Evelyn and asked if we could get together and talk.  While I had made a decision to wait until after my mission to have a girlfriend, my resolve had wilted some, and I made a rather clumsy overture to Evelyn as we sat on her front lawn.  I said something about being very lonely and how I just did not want to be alone any more.

Why Evelyn?  It was, of course, clear that neither Julie nor Mary were interested in a relationship.  If I was to have a high school girlfriend it would have to be a third girl -- The Third Girl is the title of one of Agatha Christie's Poirot mysteries, but I am giving it a different meaning here.  In the spring and summer of 1986 there were two who could have been that third girl, Sally and Evelyn.  Alas, Sally was already in a relationship, and was unavailable.  At the same time, the more I got to know Evelyn, the more I really liked her, and the more, it seemed, that we had in common.  I could have fallen for either girl, but because of my decision to wait until after my mission, I think I managed to stop short of doing that.

Returning to Evelyn's front lawn, she was a very smart girl, and she picked up on what I was doing rather quickly.  She deftly changed the subject, I thought, by telling me about a movie she had just seen.  It didn’t occur to me until sometime afterward, when I saw the movie myself, that she wasn’t just changing the subject – I can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes.  The movie was called Lucas and was about a nerdy kid who falls for a pretty girl.  Now, I don’t think Evelyn was saying I was nerdy but that, similar to the girl in the movie, while she did like me it was not in a romantic way.

Evelyn handled this whole thing brilliantly; I could see that she really did like me as a friend and that she thought I had value.  Also, I quickly forgot about feeling lonely, and about how the conversation started, as I listened to her tell the story.  I think that means that a girlfriend wasn't what I really wanted that day.  As I look back now I can see that I simply wasn't ready for a relationship, and that I wouldn't be until after my mission.  In a simple, yet wonderful way, Evelyn gave me what I really needed, kindness and friendship.

Still missing my friends, though, I decided to throw a party.  I planned a cookout in my backyard, after which we were going to play basketball.  I even drew up a bracket for a tournament, which was not very realistic.  We did play a game of HORSE, however, and I think everybody had a good time.

Perhaps the most important thing that happened that summer occurred at a church softball game.  I was asked to play catcher, which for some reason I did not want to do, and I was soon in a bad mood.  When my first turn came at bat I hit a grounder between third base and short stop; I ran as fast as I could but was unable to beat the throw to first.  This only made my mood worse and I stormed off the field and started to walk home.

As it happened, my father was there to see the whole thing.  Later that night I found a note on my pillow from my dad which suggested that I read Ether 12:27 in the Book of Mormon:

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

I had many weaknesses, and the idea of them becoming strengths was very appealing.  But, I wondered, about having faith and humbling one's self before God?  I recalled something my dad had said some years before to one of my brothers, “If you have questions, read the Book of Mormon.”  We were going to be studying the Book of Mormon in seminary my senior year so it seemed like a good time to read it.  I started right away and got a head start on the school year.


Through most of my junior year I had been content with having so many new friends.  I would find it a little difficult to be content during my senior year.

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