Suffer vs Endure

A few years ago, a brother in my ward stood in Sacrament Meeting to share his testimony (sharing is best, that way you don't have to decide whether to "bare" or "bear" your testimony, and you certainly don't want to "bury" it).  Anyway, this gentleman shared an incredible story.

He was up in Idaho at a meeting where World War II veterans were talking about experiences they had during the war.  One vet had been a prisoner of war in a Japanese POW camp, and one morning he decided that he was just too tired to get up and face the day.  The Japanese had not signed the Geneva Convention on the treatment of prisoners of war and, therefore, did not feel bound by its requirements for humane treatment of prisoners, including the providing of sufficient food and decent medical care.

At the same time, the Japanese forced prisoners to do manual labor under brutal task masters and guards.  In Thailand, the Japanese forced prisoners of war and civilians to build a railway through the jungle and over mountains to Burma -- 250 miles from Bangkok to Rangoon.  Of 180,000 civilians pressed into labor on the railroad, around 90,000 died.  Of 60,000 allied prisoners of war, 16,000 perished, including 6,318 British personnel, 2,815 Australians, 2,490 Dutch, about 356 Americans and a smaller number of Canadians and New Zealanders.

Faced with physically demanding work, with little food and almost no medical care, many prisoners reached the point where they simply could not go on.  "It was usually apparent when a man was preparing himself to die," wrote James D. Hornfischer in his book, Ship of Ghosts, about the heavy cruiser USS Houston (CA-30) and her survivors, many of whom worked on the railway in Thailand.  "Often," continued Hornfischer, "he would stop eating.  Sometimes he would announce his despair to the world."

"They'd tell you, 'I'm finished.  I'm gone,'" said John Wisecup, a Houston survivor.  The men who died did so out of despair.  "They died," wrote Hornfischer, "in a dissociating madness, protesting their circumstances then shutting themselves down like zombies."

Returning to the veteran, telling his story at a meeting somewhere in Idaho, he explained that he wished the guards would shoot him and end his misery.  But, suddenly, two "wacko" Mormons came over to him and gave him a blessing.  They blessed him that he would get through the day, and this man soon felt the strength to do just that.  Then the two Mormons went off to give blessings to other prisoners, even going to other buildings in the camp, despite the risk of being caught by the guards.  All of the prisoners who received blessings got through the day, and many survived the war to return home.

The veteran telling the story gave the name of one of the Mormons who had given him a blessing, and the brother from my ward recognized the name.  As it turned out, one of the two who had given blessings to the prisoners was the uncle of this gentleman from my ward.  He went to see his uncle, and there heard the rest of the story.

The uncle had not been particularly serious about his religion, yet he had received the priesthood.  Because he had been less than faithful, he was surprised that morning in the POW camp to be awakened by the Spirit and given the names of men who needed blessings.  He sneaked out of his building to another where he got the second Mormon.  He said they were guided by the Spirit as they moved from building to building.  They were not caught, and, as noted above, every man who received a blessing lived through the day.

Most, perhaps even all, of those who received blessings were not members of the LDS church, and one of the men sent to bless them had been, as we would say today, less active in the church.  We are all, member and non-member alike, children of a loving Heavenly Father who is mindful of each of us and the circumstances in which we find ourselves.  Anyone of us may be sent to bless the lives of others, to be an instrument in the Lord's hands.

One of the things I like about history is that I can find people who have experienced difficulties far in excess of anything I have experienced.  I have a nephew who served his mission in Thailand, and I told him before he left that at those times when he might feel discouraged he should think of those men who built the railway.  There are lessons that we might learn from them.

"Suffer is a dangerous word here just now," said Ray Parkin, another Houston survivor, "it can induce self-pity.  Endure is a better word, it is not so negative.  Enduring can give aim, a sense of mastery over circumstance.  I have seen so much self-conscious suffering and men dying from self-pity."

Jim Gee told his friend, Howard Charles, "Look Charlie, your mind is like the muscle in your arm.  Either you use it or it gets flabby and useless."  Gee then told Charles "There are three forces at work here.  Like the legs of a triangle.  First, food.  Either we have enough or we're dead.  Second, health.  That needs no explanation.  Third, attitude, which is probably the best medicine.  Food, health, attitude.  They're interlocked, each totally dependent on the other.  We have to have all three.  No food, no health.  Bad attitude: the triangle collapses."

Frank Fujita, also a Houston survivor, was at some point sent to Japan where, in the midst of his ordeal, he kept an unshakably positive attitude.  "I find beauty in everything, even in death, you know," said Fujita.  "I always find something that's worthwhile.  And even when were were starved to death -- most of us down to eighty or ninety pounds or walking skeletons - then instead of me sitting around thinking how horrible a shape we were in and 'Oh, woe is me,' I thought this was an absolutely marvelous opportunity to study anatomy."

Ray Parkin added, "There is a lot to grumble about; a lot to be disappointed about; a lot to lose our tempers over; but there is also much to marvel at.  For instance, the loyalty of a man's body -- to watch a sore heal itself -- to feel that pain is not so much a tragedy but a process.  There is fascination in trying to help it consciously, to try to break down any internal resistance to recovery by trying to quell devastating emotions like bad temper, hatred, fear, lust, envy."

As Hornfischer put it, "There was enough of an enemy in nature.  There was no need to allow a psychological fifth column to form up from within."

During the October 2010 General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson spoke on the need to endure:

"We live in a troubled world, a world of many challenges.  We are here in this earth to deal with our individual challenges to the best of our ability, to learn from them, and to overcome them.  Endure to the end we must, for our goal is eternal life in the presence of our Father in Heaven.  He loves us and wants nothing more than for us to succeed in this goal.  He will help us and bless us as we call upon Him in our prayers, as we study His words, and as we obey His commandments.  Therein is found safety; therein is found peace."

Standing Up for Truth with Meekness

In the great climactic battle of the Spanish-American War, the Spanish fleet attempted to break out of Santiago harbor on July 3, 1898. The move was a desperate bid to escape the blockade forces of the U.S. Navy. The U.S. fleet commander, Rear Admiral William T. Sampson, had left Commodore Winfield Scott Schley in command of the blockade while he sailed in his flagship to a meeting with the commanding U.S. general ashore. This was the moment chosen by the Spanish to charge out of the harbor.

The battle at sea ended quickly enough with the total defeat of the Spanish fleet. But for the U.S. Navy, the battle for glory had only just begun. Who was the real hero of Santiago de Cuba? The controversy would be fought out in public, inflamed by the press. In 1901 Edgar S. Maclay would charge Schley with cowardice in the third volume of his History of the United States Navy. Schley asked for a court of inquiry on his conduct of the battle, and the findings of the court would not be kind to the commodore. Schley appealed to President Theodore Roosevelt, who called for an end to the public dispute.

To a young cadet at the Naval Academy at Annapolis, Chester Nimitz, the controversy was nothing less than traumatic. The future commander-in-chief of the Pacific Fleet during the Second World War made a vow that, if he was ever in a position to prevent it, there would be no washing of the Navy's dirty laundry in public. Nimitz may not have been the only future commander to be so effected by the Sampson-Schley controversy.

In June 1944, forces under the command of Nimitz conducted an amphibious operation to capture the island of Saipan in the Pacific's Mariana Islands. In overall command of the operation was the Fifth Fleet's Admiral Raymond Spruance; the fleet was made up of an amphibious force and a force of aircraft carriers, the latter, Task Force 58, was commanded by Vice Admiral Marc Mitscher. In response to the invasion of Saipan, the Japanese Navy sent its carriers out to fight for the first time in more than 18 months.

The operational order given by Nimitz to Spruance was to "capture, occupy and defend Saipan, Tinian, and Guam and develop bases in those islands." The Fifth Fleet commander viewed this as his primary responsibility, and in the face of sighting reports by U.S. submarines, which presented the picture of a divided enemy fleet, he ordered Mitscher to keep his carriers close to Saipan to protect the forces ashore. Mitscher had his own ideas on how to handle the enemy fleet, and developed plans to sail west, close with the enemy and force an engagement on his terms.

Spruance exercised his authority and kept the carriers in a position to defend against a possible end run against the beaches. The Mitscher's carriers were forced to fight a defensive battle against air strikes launched by the enemy carriers. The better trained pilots of Task Force 58 scored a tremendous victory against the inexperienced Japanese fliers. The following day, Mitscher pursued the enemy fleet and launched a strike which caught the Japanese carriers at dusk, and sank one flattop. While the Battle of the Philippine Sea was a victory for the U.S. Navy, it could have been a bigger victory had Mitscher been allowed to sail out to meet the enemy rather than fight a defensive battle.

A few weeks after the battle, Mitscher's chief of Staff, Captain Arleigh Burke wrote up the after action report on the battle. Burke wrote the narrative portion himself, and then took it to his admiral, recommending that he read at least the final two pages since they were critical of Admiral Spruance.

Mitscher was of a mind to trust his chief of staff's version of events -- having fought the battle, he assumed that he knew what was in the report. But, at Burke's insistence, he read the last two pages.

"It's all true, all right," said the admiral when he had finished. Then he stared out over the lagoon at Eniwetok, where his force was resting and regrouping. "Do you know Admiral Spruance very well?" he finally asked.

"Yes, sir."

"What do you think of him?"

"I think he's a might good man, but he made a mistake this time, Admiral. He made a big mistake. I don't know why he did it, but it was a big mistake. This is true."

"Yes, it's all true," said Mitscher, "but what good is it going to do to send in a report like this?"

"It tells the truth."

"You don't think the truth does more harm than good sometimes?"

"No, sir."

"Well, it does," replied Mitscher. "You and I have been in many battles, and we know there are always some mistakes. This time we were right because the enemy did what we expected him to do. Admiral Spruance could have been right. He's one of the finest officers I know of. It was his job to protect the landing force. Anyway, the ultimate outcome of this war is decided by now, and it's not going to make that much difference. Don't you think you ought to take it back and rewrite those last two pages?"

"No, sir," answered Burke, "but I will."

Many U.S. Navy aviators, along with a few historians, would not be as generous as Mitscher, branding the battle as one of the biggest blunders of the war, if not the century. Admiral John H. Towers, an aviator and deputy to Nimitz as Commander-in-Chief Pacific Fleet, demanded that Spruance be relieved of his command for his handling of the battle. Nimitz ignored the demand and defended the Fifth Fleet commander's strategy, then and later. Though Spruance faced criticism, the U.S. Navy was largely spared the kind of public controversy that the Battle of Santiago Bay had produced.

In the recent general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Elder David A. Bednar spoke on the subject of meekness and recounted the example of Pahoran:

"During a perilous period of war described in the Book of Mormon, an exchange of epistles occurred between Moroni, the captain of the Nephite armies, and Pahoran, the chief judge and governor of the land. Moroni, whose army was suffering because of inadequate support from the government, wrote to Pahoran “by the way of condemnation” and accused him and his fellow leaders of thoughtlessness, slothfulness, neglect, and even being traitors.

"Pahoran easily might have resented Moroni and his inaccurate allegations, but he did not. He responded compassionately and described a rebellion against the government about which Moroni was not aware. And then Pahoran declared:

“'Behold, I say unto you, Moroni, that I do not joy in your great afflictions, yea, it grieves my soul. …

“'… In your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart.'

"What do you think explains Pahoran’s measured reply to Moroni’s accusations?"

What may help us understand why Pahoran reacted as he did?

"Meekness is a defining attribute of the Redeemer and is distinguished by righteous responsiveness, willing submissiveness, and strong self-restraint. . . . The Christlike quality of meekness often is misunderstood in our contemporary world. Meekness is strong, not weak; active, not passive; courageous, not timid; restrained, not excessive; modest, not self-aggrandizing; and gracious, not brash. A meek person is not easily provoked, pretentious, or overbearing and readily acknowledges the accomplishments of others."

Elder Bednar concluded by noting that meekness "is an essential aspect of the divine nature and can be received and developed in our lives because of and through the Savior’s Atonement." Then he promised that the Savior "will guide, protect, and strengthen us as we walk in the meekness of His Spirit."

We live in a world where controversies of the Sampson-Schley type are common, and where the restraint of Nimitz and Mitscher are rare. I wonder, though, if anything is really accomplished by these battles over truth.

As Admiral Mitscher suggested, Admiral Spruance's conduct of the Battle of the Philippine Sea, sound or unsound, made little difference to the outcome of the Pacific War, because that outcome had already been decided. Because enough of the Japanese fleet escaped damage, there would be another major battle to fight, but Japan's fate was already sealed by the battles and campaigns that had already taken place.

Sampson had prepared his fleet well, and under Schley's tactical command it performed well in battle. If Schley made mistakes during the fight, they were of little consequence. The controversy that followed the battle tarnished rather than polished both men, and it gave the Navy a black eye.

Excessive, ungracious, self-aggrandizing controversy does not serve truth, which will prevail with or without our help. Stand up for truth, yes, but do so with meekness.


Sources:

Potter, E. B. (1976). Nimitz. Annapolis, MD: Naval Instititute Press

Potter, E. B. (1990). Admiral Arleigh Burke. Annapolis, MD: Naval Institute Press

Bednar, D. A. (2018) "Meek and Lowly of Heart". Accessed 4/16/2018 at LDS.org: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/04/meek-and-lowly-of-heart?lang=eng

For the Beauty of the Earth

Winter always seems to be a challenging time; it is small wonder that winter is associated with discontent. Now, with the coming of Spring, as the earth awakes from her slumber, I feel the discontent slipping away.  During this time of year, many feel inspiration as they look upon the beauties of this planet.  They might even feel like singing.

For the beauty of the earth

For the beauty of the skies

For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies,

For the beauty of each hour
Of the day and of the night,

Hill and vale, and tree and flow'r,

Sun and moon, and stars of light,

Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our hymn of grateful praise.

They say a picture is worth a thousands words, and the pics in this post are photos that I took. I hope you enjoyed them.

Hymn: For the Beauty of the Earth

The Happy Time: Second Baptism

Sometimes it can be a good idea to slow down in missionary work. Had Elder Friend (yes, that really was his name) and I been in too much of a hurry on this day, we would have missed finding this lady who would become the second person I participated in teaching who was subsequently baptized.

We knocked on this door with a no soliciting sign. Typically we did not knock on doors with no soliciting signs, but we did knock on this one -- stay in tune with the spirit so you catch the prompting to break the routine.  We waited about a minute but no one answered. So we started off toward the next house, which was across the street on the next corner. I lagged behind a bit to close the gate to this house’s yard.

As I turned to follow my companion, I happened to look back at the front door of this house, and in that moment I saw that someone had finally answered it. I looked at Elder Friend and saw that he was stepping onto the curb across the street. I signaled the person at the door to wait and then tried to get my companion’s attention. Elder Friend, by now realizing that I was not catching up, turned around, saw me and then saw the person at the door. He turned around and came back and we went up to the doorstep. I gave the approach and this lady let us in.

As we sat down in her living room, this lady mentioned that her back was giving her trouble. My companion talked to her about priesthood blessings and we ended up giving her one. Then we taught her the first discussion; she was very receptive and also very open. She agreed with most of the things we talked about. We got her phone number and were going call her to set up a return appointment.

About a week later we called Elizabeth to set up an appointment for the second discussion. We asked her if she had started reading The Book of Mormon. She said that she had and that she knew it was true!  I am not able, even now, to describe the joy I felt when I heard that.

A few days later we taught her the second discussion and committed her to pray about a date for baptism. A week and a half later we were surprised to see Elizabeth at church -- if I recall correctly, an invitation to church typically followed the third discussion, which taught about the Sacrament.

Despite these pleasant surprises, we occasionally had some difficulty getting a hold of Elizabeth. One day we were ten minutes early for a teaching appointment with her and we hopped over for what we hoped was a quick visit with Trudy – who lived like a block away – but we were twenty minutes late getting back to Elizabeth’s and she did not answer the door.

Nonetheless, we were surprised again, after not teaching her for a couple of weeks, to see Elizabeth at church a second time. Now we just needed to finish the rest of the discussions. I felt certain that we could baptize her before another month had passed. Two days later we taught Elizabeth the third discussion and set a date for baptism.

When we taught her the fourth discussion a few days later we ran into a problem over the Word of Wisdom. Elizabeth would not commit to giving up coffee. She said she only had coffee three or four times a year for health reasons; she said it is better than eating when you have gastritis. She could not promise that she would never have another cup of coffee. That was very discouraging.

In any case, when we went back to teach Elizabeth the fifth discussion she did not have any more concerns and we were able to resolve her concerns from the fourth discussion. But we had to push back her baptism date about a week. We also gave her another priesthood blessing.

We had a member of the ward fellowshipping Elizabeth and he was doing a great job. She had called him a few times and had also told him that she was determined to be baptized.  This is the only church that she had attended and felt comfortable with. She felt that the members there were very kind. Oh, what joy I felt when I heard that, and with it came tears -- a rarity for me.

Elizabeth came to church for a third time on the date we had originally set for her baptism, so everything looked good for the following Sunday. That is, except for exactly where we were going to hold the baptism. The water heater for the font at the stake center had not been replaced and we were calling every member in the area that had a pool – baptizing in the ocean was not allowed. We taught Elizabeth the sixth discussion on Thursday, but we were still having trouble finding a pool for Sunday. As it turned out, we had to delay the ceremony until the following Tuesday.

On Sunday, Elizabeth came to church for a fourth time. This was unprecedented! In my experience, investigators typically only came the required two times before their baptisms.

Tuesday was the day transfer calls came out, and we found out that my companion was being transferred. Fortunately for Elder Friend, we had the ceremony that night.

At 6:00 p.m. we went to Elizabeth’s and she followed us in her car to the member’s home, the one with the pool. The service went great as Elder Friend baptized her and I confirmed her – after baptizing Trudy, I decided that I didn’t need to be the one doing the actual baptism and was quite happy to allow others to have the honor.

The member who was fellowshipping Elizabeth was supposed to give the talk on the Holy Ghost but he never showed, so I volunteered to wing it. There was one hiccup as my companion and Elizabeth were getting out of the pool after the baptism; she slipped and fell on a wet spot. But compared with my first baptism, this one was rather uneventful. Still, one of the ward members commented to me about the safety factor of my baptisms.

The next morning we took my companion to meet the transfer van and later in the day returned to pick up my new companion. So that was pretty good timing for Elder Friend. I thought we had a pretty good companionship, this elder and I. We worked hard and we had more things going on than I had with my previous companions.

We were also tested, as most of the appointments we set ended up canceling on us. Elder Friend was discouraged one day, and he said that his previous areas had been better.  I said that he should count his blessings, as he could be in Palo Alto, my previous area, which was extremely slow. We persevered, and we were blessed, not only with the baptism of Elizabeth, but with other things.

In many companionships, each elder has things they do that the other could potentially find annoying and Elder Friend and I certainly had those.  I thought that, for the most part however, we were more than just companions, but also friends.  I still look back on those two months as a happy time.

CSJ Weeks 23 & 24: "All Systems Go" & "Baptism!"

June 22, 1988

Trudy was released from the hospital on Wednesday, June 15.  We stopped by her place on Thursday and showed her a video, Nephi and the Brass Plates.

In the afternoon I went on a bike ride with Elder Tango up to Marina. Our purpose was to check on a contact but they were not at home. Suddenly I started to feel a little bit sick, I was looking it too, or so Tango said. We stopped by to see some members who live in the same trailer park as the contact we tried to visit. They gave me an apple and that really hit the spot.

We started back to Seaside and somewhere on the bike path between the two towns and west of Fort Ord and the freeway, my new bike, which I have hardly ridden, suffered a mechanical failure. One of the pedal struts came loose and I could no longer peddle. The trail we were on is full of little hills which complicated our return home. Tango towed me along the flats and down the hills, but I had to walk up the hills. Naturally, it took us quite some time to get home.

In the evening I went on team-ups with Tango and stake missionaries from the Marina ward – which, by the way, is called the Seaside Ward, while the Seaside ward which Elder Spandau and I cover is called the Carmel Ward. First we had a scripture study class with a new member, then we went on to Fort Ord to give a member presentation. Fun day! 

We went on to Fort Ord twice on Friday.  First Spandau and I went to check on a referral, who was not at home.  In the evening we went on team ups with a stake missionary who is in the Army and assigned to Fort Ord -- which greatly simplified getting on the base.  We went to a barracks to see an investigator but he was off base as part of a funeral detail.

On Saturday, we drove over to Salinas for interviews with President Douglas. I was up first and I talked about Trudy and the improvement here over Palo Alto.  On the way back to Seaside we hopped over to Carmel Valley and stopped at the Talbot tie factory outlet store. I bought two ties for about two bucks. They are what might be called “B-unit” ties. Originally worth as much as $80.00, a tiny flaw reduced them to a buck apiece.  In the evening we visited a member and then checked on a referral that was not at home. 

On Sunday, Elder Tango and I filled the font at the stake center for two different baptisms.  First the elders from Salinas, followed by the sister missionaries in our district.  During the second ceremony, while the participants changed after the baptism itself, the sisters showed a new video called Together Forever.  Wow, what a great video!

On Monday, Spandau gave me the opportunity to plan our work for the day.  I picked out three streets to tract in the morning, and we got a call back.  In the evening we had a dinner appointment out in Carmel Valley. We showed our hosts the video Together Forever after dinner. 

We taught Trudy the third and fourth discussions on Tuesday morning. It went very well and all systems are go for her baptism on the twenty-six. This truly is a spectator sport. It is the spirit that converts and it is awesome to be here to see it happen. How did I get so lucky? We have another appointment scheduled for Thursday to teach Trudy the fifth and sixth discussions. Her interview is scheduled for Saturday.

The transfer calls went out while we were back at the flat having lunch.  Spandau is being transferred to Belmont-San Mateo up in the San Francisco zone. My new companion will be Elder Friend who will be the senior companion. We took the rest of the day off so Spandau could pack and get ready.

Early this morning we drove up to Salinas to meet the transfer van.  The van's first stop in always in Salinas where it picks up a small U-Haul trailer for the luggage.  Late in the afternoon, the van returns to Salinas and drops of the trailer before making its last stop in Watsonville, if necessary.  So, we had to wait all day for the van to come back with Elder Friend.  We hung around with Elder Juliett, who has been called to be a trainer and a district leader.  Wow, from junior comp to DL in one transfer, that's impressive, but not really surprising.

Anyway, we played some basketball and did some other stuff while waiting for the transfer van's afternoon stop.  When Elder Friend finally arrived, we drove back down to Seaside to get him settled in.  He seems like a cool guy, and we have already found a common interest -- airplanes.

Tomorrow we will be teaching Trudy the fifth and sixth discussions and she will have her baptismal interview with Elder Tango on Saturday.

---

June 29, 1988

We taught Trudy the fifth and sixth discussions  on Thursday and set up a baptism interview for Saturday.  In the afternoon, we were at K-Mart for a few hours to get a new battery for the car.  We had to make a few calls to the mission office to get the purchase approved.

Friday morning, we tracted a few streets.  We had a half hour teach with a man we tracted into. He had some interesting ideas, but seemed teachable.  In the afternoon, I took Elder Friend around to meet some members.  In the evening we went on team-ups with a stake missionary and went on to Fort Ord.  We were going to teach an investigator the fifth discussion, but he was not at his barracks.  We ended up giving a short presentation on the Book of Mormon to the soldiers on CQ duty.

On Saturday morning, we started tracting Noche Buena Avenue. This street runs north and south, the length of Seaside, and it is also just a block east of our apartment complex. We can get a lot of tracting in without putting any miles on the car, brilliant! Anyway, we got a few call backs which look promising.  In the afternoon we did a service project, moving some stuff out of a member's home.  Trudy had her interview at 4:00, and it went well.  After that, Elder Friend and I cleaned the font at the stake center.

In the evening, we stopped by to see Trudy and go over the baptism program with her.  Trudy has asked me to do the honors, though I was her third choice.  The first two were the elders that found her before my arrival here in Seaside, but they could not get permission to come down for the baptism.

We attended our church meetings on Sunday morning, and then had our correlation meeting with the ward mission leader.  We started filling the font at 2:30.  We were filling buckets with hot water from the kitchen and dumping them in the font, because the water heater for the font has died, but we eventually ran out of hot water, so we had to finish filling the font with cold water.

The service started at 4:30, after we took pictures in front of the stake center of Trudy and I in our baptismal whites.  After the talk on baptism, I led Trudy into the water, which was ice cold!  Trudy let out a shriek, and everybody laughed.  Then I baptized her -- okay, I had to do it twice because her leg came up the first time.  Trudy was having some trouble catching her breath because she was very cold. We had to calm her down before we could continue.  After we changed clothes, Elder Friend did the confirmation.

This was supposed to be a happy occasion, but I was feeling a little ambivalent, because it appears that Trudy's conversion happened before I got here.  Also, because of my last companion watching TV at a members home, I didn't feel worthy of this blessing.  It did not help matters that I had to baptize her twice and, even worse, that I dropped her both times!

We continued tracting Noche Buena Ave. on Monday, and did most of the street in 4 1/2 hours.  We got some call backs and set up four appointments for Tuesday.  We also got in one door and taught a first discussion.  The lady we taught was sincere, open, and teachable.  She wanted to read the Book of Mormon and agreed with most of the things we talked about.  I think we can baptize her.

The thing is, we almost missed out on teaching her.  First, there was a no soliciting sign on her house, and we typically skip such homes.  Next, there was no answer when we knocked on the door, and after about a minute we started off toward the next house.  I lagged behind to close the gate to the yard, and that's when this lady answered the door.

I looked at Friend and saw that he was stepping onto the curb across the street. I signaled the person at the door to wait and then tried to get Friend’s attention. Friend was by now realizing that I was not catching up, he turned around, saw me and then saw the person at the door. He turned around and came back and we went up to the doorstep. I gave the approach and this lady let us in.

As we sat down in her living room, this lady mentioned that her back was giving her trouble. Friend talked to her about priesthood blessings and we ended up giving her one. Then we taught her the first discussion.  Her name is Elizabeth and, as I said, I think we can baptize her.

On Tuesday, we went to the four appointments we set up on Monday, and got dogged by all of them!  There is nothing like getting excited for a possible teaching appointment only to get stood up by the contact.

Today we went out to the tide pools in Pacific Grove with Elder Tango and his companion and the sister missionaries.  Later we drove down to the beach in Carmel by the Sea.  In the mail today I got a letter from Geoff, in which he basically ripped me a new one because of my negative attitude.  He specifically told me that I am not unique because of my challenges, but because of other reasons.

I think I can see what he means.  My companion has been having some money issues this week, Elder Tango is often frustrated by his companion, who himself has some health issues and other things that he is dealing with.  I am determined to keep this new perspective. My faith will survive the challenges and trials ahead and I will put my past behind me. No longer will I be intimidated by others; no longer will I let my discouragements get the best of me.

I should be grateful to have been involved in the baptism of Trudy. It is the spirit that converts, not us, so what does it matter if her conversion happened before I got here? For whatever reason, it was decided that she should be taught the discussions a second time, and I was here for that. Heck, think of Friend who showed up in time for the last two discussions and the baptism itself. He does not appear to be bothered by the fact that he did not get here sooner.

Life is Good!

"Walls Don't Work": A Return to Character and Integrity

A 2006 Gallup Poll showed that 80 percent of Americans rated the moral condition of our country as fair or poor and thought it was worsening.  Recent events may have served to highlight the decline in America's moral condition, and there are already calls for more rules and regulations.  While new laws may be appropriate, by themselves they will not be enough; even the greatest of walls can be undermined by a lack of character and integrity.

The Great Wall of China was supposed to be impenetrable, yet during the first hundred years of its existence, China was invaded three times. The wall was never torn down, nor was it scaled by invading armies; instead gatekeepers allowed the invaders to enter after accepting a bribe.  The Chinese had banked on the physical integrity of the formidable stone walls but had overlooked the moral integrity of their soldiers.

A few years ago, I came across a TED talk given by a retired Navy admiral named James Stavridis. The former NATO supreme commander showed an image from the World War I battlefield of Verdun. Referring to the trenches of the Great War, the Maginot Line of World War II, and the battle of Stalingrad during the same war, he argued that “walls don't work.” Despite this fact, he noted that we have continued to build walls, including the Iron Curtain and the Berlin Wall of the Cold War. The admiral could have included the Great Wall of China as discussed above.

Another wall that did not work, was the “hedge” or “fence” which Jewish leaders built around the Law of Moses. By building this “wall” the elders hoped to develop a system of rules and interpretations that would keep people as far from sin as possible. The Law of Moses was intended to point the Children of Israel toward the Savior, but instead, with additions, it became extremely burdensome.

It is not the intent of this blog to argue politics. As with the Chinese and their soldiers, our first line of defense is not the "walls" of commandments, rules or laws, but is rather our personal integrity and character.  Character underpins our humanity; ultimately it defines us as individuals and has a significant impact on motivation and performance.  Indeed, character is the foundation of all decision-making.

Integrity is a vital component of an individual's character; the word comes from the Latin integritas, which referred to the quality of a Roman Legionnaire's armor.  With integrity, all was possible in battle and all was whole.  Absent integrity, there was vulnerability; indeed, there would be a "disintegrity" or disintegration.

We might also consider the barges which the brother of Jared was commanded to build, they were to be "tight like unto a dish" or "watertight."  In discussing how effectively watertight a ship or submarine is they use the term "watertight integrity."  If all of the hatches and openings are closed to the sea, and if all the hatches to the interior compartments are closed and dogged shut, then the watertight integrity is good.  If even one hatch or opening is left open it can doom a submarine.

In May 1939, the submarine USS Squalus sank to the bottom of Long Island Sound when her main induction valve -- which drew in air for the engines when on the surface -- was stuck open.  Quick action by the crew prevented the forward compartments from flooding, allowing 33 men to be rescued.

It seems, however, that no matter how strong we are, or how much character and integrity we have, there is always room for improvement.  No matter how much we have learned or how much we have progressed, we are still human and continue to fall short of perfection because of our weaknesses and inadequacies.  There is clearly a gap between reality and the ideals we strive to live by.  We strive, we stretch, we reach, and still we fall short.

President Thomas S. Monson often said that “decisions determine destiny.” In May 1968, he said, “Perhaps the word 'character' best describes one who is true to himself. For character takes no account of what you are thought to be, but what you are.” President Monson went on to say, “Character is having an inner light and the courage to follow its dictates. One who is true to himself develops the attributes needed to survive errors, to keep marching on the road that seems to be without end, and to rise above disappointment and distress.”

In his TED talk, Admiral Stavridis argued that “We will not deliver security solely from the barrel of a gun.” Neither can we strengthen the moral condition of society solely by passing laws or writing new regulations, and neither can we strengthen our personal character and integrity by relying solely on commandments and rules.

While commandments and laws are important, and should be kept and obeyed, there are other opportunities for strengthening our character and integrity. In Moroni chapter 7, Mormon gave us counsel on how we can have “every good thing.” The recipe is simple: Faith, Hope and Charity. If we come unto Christ, humble ourselves and have faith in him, that we might be lifted by his grace, then we must have hope, and if we have faith and hope, then we must have charity. Charity is the pure love of Christ, it endures forever, and without it we are nothing.

Mormon counseled us that when we pray that we should pray to be filled with this love. It is never too early to start, and we should continue to pray that we may continue to be filled with charity, that we may be purified and that we may truly be like Jesus. We must be careful to always have faith and hope, and to always pray and study the scriptures, so that we may never lose this charity once we have been filled with it.

If we are filled with charity, then might our character and integrity be strong, then, like the barges built by the brother of Jared, might we be “tight like unto a dish.”

Even if we are praying regularly to be filled with charity, there will still be threats to our character and integrity and constant vigilance may be the price we pay.  Some of the worst things that happen to us are the things we do to ourselves; the doubts we entertain, the grudges that we carry, the habits we pick up and the sins we commit.  We may also become prideful; we may ignore reality and say that we have achieved the ideal, even as we continue to fall short.  Or we may forget the ideal, saying that it is too hard to achieve, so why even try?  We must be ever vigilant, we must be meek and lowly in heart, and we must pray always.

The good news is that the Atonement is there for us, even if our failings are not great sins. The Lord said to Moroni that He gives us weaknesses so that we may be humble; He also said that "my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

There will always be the the opportunity to humble ourselves and have faith in Christ and to be lifted by His grace.

"We Are God's Children" & Some Short Stuff

On the Mount of Transfiguration, Jesus appeared in a transfigured state to Peter, James and John -- "And his raiment became shining, exceeding white as snow." Then Moses and Elijah made an appearance. Moments later the mount was overshadowed by a cloud and a voice was heard, saying, "This is my beloved Son: hear him."

Before Jesus began his ministry, there were no prophets in the land, and various individuals and groups claimed an exclusive privilege to interpret scripture. Early in his ministry, Jesus claimed that role for himself, but the Transfiguration answered the question definitively from the perspective of the Gospel writers.

The Hebrew Bible was an open canon during this time, though the Torah (Law) was, for all intents and purposes, a closed canon. The authoritative writings could be divided into three distinct sections, the Law, the Prophets, and the Writings. In their appearance, Moses represented the law while Elijah represented the prophets, and they were seen talking with Jesus. This was followed by the voice in the cloud, which identified Jesus and God's Son and commanded that He be heard.

This episode ends any controversy about the right of Jesus to interpret the Law and the Prophets. The disciples were to listen to Jesus, and not to representatives from the Scribes, Sadducees, Pharisees, or Essenes, who claimed the right themselves.

As they descended the mountain, Jesus counseled Peter, James and John not to talk about what they had seen until after His death and resurrection, a statement not understood by the three disciples at the time. Though He would be rejected in Jerusalem by the elders, the scribes and the chief priests, the Father had verified by His own voice that Jesus' forthcoming rejection, suffering, and death in no way disqualified Him as God's beloved Son. Jesus' words must still be obeyed, no matter what happened to him in Jerusalem.

As children we learned to sing:

I am a child of God,
And he has sent me here. . . .

Rich blessings are in store;
If I but learn to do his will
I'll live with him once more.

Though we may be persecuted, rejected, even forgotten by our fellow humans, these trials in no way disqualify us as children of God. Though others may not recognized our noble birthright or see the value which we possess, the fact remains that we are the children of a loving Father in Heaven and that we have value. The actions of those around us cannot repudiate God's declaration that the worth of souls is great.

In those times when we are feeling discouraged, alone and forgotten, we should remember that we are God's children, that He loves us, that He has work for us to do, and that He will not forsake us.

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!

---

Six months ago I was writing about choosing happiness and accentuating the positive; while I acknowledged that it was not always easy I was pitching that it was time to "sing hallelujah, come on get happy." The road that followed has been a difficult one.

For all the talk of choosing happiness, life is difficult. Sometimes we are called to sail through troubled waters. Sometimes our challenges are of short duration but highly traumatic, at other times they may be of a low intensity but seemingly interminable. Sometimes we must go straight from an Omaha Beach and into Normandy-like hedgerows.

There are times when we desire to rejoice, yet we find our heart groaning. As important as choosing happiness might be, we should remember two things:

First, Nephi, a prophet who had witnessed many great visions, at least once felt to exclaim "O wretched man that I am" because of the temptations and sins which so easily beset him. What those temptations might have been does not really matter, what matters is that they were difficult for him.

Second, Jesus wept. When he finally reached Mary and Martha, after the death of Lazarus, and he beheld their sorrow, he wept. Even though he knew that he would very soon go and raise Lazarus from the dead, Jesus wept.

Knowing these two things, we should cut ourselves some slack next time we desire to rejoice, to choose happiness, to sing hallelujah, but instead feel despair at the vicissitudes of life. We can allow ourselves to feel frustrated, even angry at some of the challenges we face -- there are times when I am not very fond of diabetes.

But then let us remind ourselves of the great gift we celebrate at this time of year. "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son." Then might we say as Nephi did "Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, o my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul."

---

"I love you."

Three little words.

Three words, if we are blessed to have someone we love, that we should be saying often.

But if we keep saying the same words, will they not become vain repetitions?

No!

Unless our actions betray our words -- reveal our love to be absent -- then our repetition of "I love you" is not in vain.

Think of other words or phrases we might say with some regularity. Do they lose their meaning just because we keep saying them?

Of course not.

So, next time you get on your knees, and find that you are expressing yourself in words you have said before, and you worry that your repetition is becoming vain, ask yourself if you still mean what you say -- if you are truly sincere.

If the answer is yes, then fear not, and keep praying.

---

It occurs to me that before an individual can receive love, truly open themselves up to receive and accept love, they have to first believe and accept that they were worthy of being loved. Seems simple enough, except that the Adversary is working overtime to persuade us that we are not worthy of receiving love.

For myself, it seems that he started early and has been relentless. I have also made a few mistakes along the way, picked up some bad habits, and some shame for the sins and temptations which so easily beset me. There remains a nagging doubt that if my friends really knew about my weaknesses, they would reject me.

But this is just another lie from the father of all lies. I am a child of God, and He has sent me here. As such, I have value -- we all do! We are all beautiful and special because we are the creation of a loving Father in Heaven.

Courage, then, for the Lord is on our side.