"I Know": Gaining A Conviction of Gospel Truth

Boyd K. Packer was called to be president of the New England States Mission while he was serving as an Assistant to the Twelve.  In a book published in 1975, President Packer reflected on an experience he had as a mission president.  He found that his mission was not progressing as it should have been, but he could not immediately discover the solution.  The answer came during the testimony session of a zone conference when a particular elder stood to bear his testimony.

"The testimonies we'd heard from all the other missionaries," wrote then-Elder Packer, "went something like this: 'I'm grateful to be in the mission field.  I've learned a lot from it.  I have a fine companion.  I've learned a lot from him.  I'm grateful for my parents.  We had an interesting experience last week.  We were out knocking on doors and. . . .'  Then the missionary would relate an experience.  His conclusion would be something  like this: 'I'm grateful to be in the mission field.  I have a testimony of the gospel.'  And he would conclude 'in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.'

"This young elder was different somehow.  Anxious not to spend an extra second on his feet, he said simply, in hurried, frightened words, 'I know that God lives.  I know that Jesus is the Christ.  I know that we have a prophet of God leading the Church.  In the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.'

"This was a testimony.  It was not just an experience nor an expression of gratitude.  It was a declaration, a witness!

"Most of the elders had said 'I have a testimony,' but they had not declared it.  This young elder had, in a very few words, delivered his testimony -- direct, basic, and, as it turned out, powerful.

"I knew then what was wrong in the mission.  We were telling stories, expressing gratitude, admitting that we had testimonies, but we were not bearing them."

Note the clear difference between saying that you have a testimony and actually bearing your testimony.  Note, also, the difference between a "thankimony" and a testimony.

During one Fast and Testimony meeting some years ago, I heard several "thankimonies" which seemed to say "I have a testimony because of this blessing or that blessing."  I stood up to bear my testimony and said that I did not have a testimony because I had a great job, or a nice house, or a wonderful wife -- though I do have a wonderful wife.  Rather, I had a testimony because I had received a witness from God, a witness of the Spirit.  What greater witness can we have than a witness from God?

It is acceptable, when bearing testimony, to express gratitude or to tell a faith promoting story, but we should remember that doing these things is secondary to bearing testimony.  The primary purpose of bearing testimony is to declare what we know.  As we read in True to the Faith: A Gospel Reference, "Your testimony will be most powerful when it is expressed as a brief, heartfelt conviction about the Savior, His teachings, and the Restoration.  Pray for guidance, and the Spirit will help you know how to express the feelings in your heart."

The importance of bearing testimony in missionary work cannot be overstated.  "Personal testimony," said President Gordon B. Hinckley, "is the factor which turns people around in their living as they come into this Church."

President Hinckley also said that "[Testimony] is something that cannot be refuted.  Opponents may quote scripture and argue doctrine endlessly.  They can be clever and persuasive.  But when one says, 'I know,' there can be no further argument.  There may not be acceptance, but who can refute or deny the quiet voice of the inner soul speaking with personal conviction?"

While a testimony cannot be refuted, and cannot be taken away from the person who bore it, that doesn't stop people from trying.  If people do not want to believe, then they will find a reason not to; if they do not want to accept a testimony, then they won't.  But their actions cannot refute a witness from God and a testimony is always worth repeating.

I know that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, the Holy Messiah.  I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God.  I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet and that Russell M. Nelson is a prophet.

"Thy Timing Be Done"

We read in Preach My Gospel that, "A testimony is a spiritual witness and assurance given by the Holy Ghost.  To bear testimony is to give a simple, direct declaration of belief -- a feeling, an assurance, a conviction of gospel truth.  Sharing your testimony often is one of the most powerful ways of inviting the Spirit and helping others feel the Spirit.  It adds a current personal witness to the truths you have taught from the scriptures.  An effective missionary teaches, testifies, and invites others to do things that build faith in Jesus Christ.  This includes making promises that come from living true principles."

Of course, before you can share your testimony, you have to have a testimony to share.  When I left on my mission I thought I had a testimony; I had read the Book of Mormon twice and had seen my faith increase, and I had felt the Spirit testifying that what I was reading was true.  But a few months into my mission I started to feel that my testimony was at best inadequate.  So one night I prayed to know if the church was true, and I have to confess that I did not have much patience.  When I did not receive an immediate answer I worried that, in fact, the church might not be true.

Elder Dalin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve has taught about the timing of inspiration from God: "We should recognize that the Lord will speak to us through the Spirit in his own time and in his own way.  Many people do not understand this principle.  They believe that when they are ready and when it suits their convenience, they can call upon the Lord and he will immediately respond, even in the precise way they have prescribed.  Revelation does not come that way."

Elder Neal A. Maxwell, who was a member of the Twelve, echoed this principle: "Since the Lord wants a people 'tried in all things' (D&C 136:31), how, specifically, will we be tried?  He tells us, I will try the faith and the patience of my people (see Mosiah 23:21).  Since faith in the timing of the Lord may be tried, let us learn to say not only, 'Thy will be done,' but patiently also, 'Thy timing be done.'"

When I worried that the church might not be true, because I had not received an immediate witness from the Spirit, I started arguing with myself.  I had wanted the church to be true, "Oh, why couldn't it be true?"  But then, "No, you know it is true?"  When the Lord, I think, was satisfied with my sincerity, I was prompted to ask again, and when I did I finally received the witness from the spirit that I had been seeking.  While it worked out for me in the end, testimony seekers probably shouldn't follow my example.

Rather, individuals who don't have a testimony, should follow the same formula or pattern that they will ask their investigators to follow.  Missionaries invite investigators to follow the guidelines given by Moroni in the last chapter of the Book of Mormon:

"Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

"And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

"And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."  (Moroni 10:3-5)

Missionaries ask their investigators to read and pray about the Book of Mormon; testimony seekers should do the same.  With investigators, missionaries hope this process will unfold in a matter of weeks -- the time it takes to teach five discussions and for the investigator to attend church the required number of times.  For others it may take longer, perhaps even several months, perhaps even years -- they can expect their patience to be tried.

For individuals who may feel that they do have a testimony, they should work on strengthening that testimony.  How might they do that? By repeating the same process described above.  They should continue studying the scriptures, resources like Preach My Gospel, True to the Faith, Jesus the Christ, books and conference addresses by general authorities of the church, etc. and seek the guidance of the Spirit through prayer.  As they do this, seeking to know the will of the Lord and then doing it, their faith will increase and their testimony will be strengthened.

Recognizing the Promptings of the Spirit

Before one can receive a witness of the Spirit, teach by the Spirit, or help others recognize spiritual feelings, they must first learn to recognize the promptings of the Spirit.  Boyd K. Packer said, "The voice of the Spirit is described in the scripture as being neither 'loud' nor 'harsh.'  It is 'not a voice of thunder, neither . . . voice of a great tumultuous noise.'  But rather, 'a still voice of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper,' and it can 'pierce even to the very soul' and 'cause [the heart] to burn.'  Remember, Elijah found the voice of the Lord was not in the wind, nor in the earthquake, nor in the fire, but was a still small voice.

"The Spirit does not get our attention by shouting or shaking us with a heavy hand.  Rather it whispers.  It caresses so gently that if we are preoccupied we may not feel it at all.  Occasionally it will press just firmly enough for us to pay heed.  But most of the time, if we do not heed the gentle feeling, the Spirit will withdraw and wait until we come seeking and listening and say in our manner and expression, like Samuel of ancient times, 'Speak [Lord], for they servant heareth.'"

Promptings of the Spirit have often been described as a "burning in the bosom," yet President Dalin H. Oaks had this to say: "What does a 'burning in the bosom' mean?  Does it need to be a feeling of caloric heat, like the burning produced by combustion?  If that is the meaning, I have never had a burning in the bosom.  Surely, the word 'burning' in this scripture signifies a feeling of comfort and serenity.  That is the witness many receive.  That is the way revelation works."

How do we recognize the promptings of the spirit?  To answer the question, Gordon B. Hinckley once read Moroni 7:13, 16-17 and then said, "That's the test, when all is said and done.  Does it persuade one to do good, to rise, to stand tall, to do the right thing, to be kind, to be generous?  Then it is of the Spirit of God. . . .  If it invites to do good, it is of God.  If it inviteth to do evil, it is of the devil. . . .  And if you are doing the right thing and if you are living the right way, you will know in your heart what the Spirit is saying to you."

President Hinckley added that, "You recognize the promptings of the Spirit by the fruits of the Spirit -- that which enlighteneth, that which buildeth up, that which is positive and affirmative and uplifting and leads us to better thoughts and better words and better deeds is of the Spirit of God."

In chapter 4 of Preach My Gospel, we find a table with a list of scriptures which gives ideas on how one might recognize the Spirit and its promptings (pages 96-97).  For example scriptures such as Galatians 5:22-23 suggest that the Spirit gives "feelings of love, joy, peace, patience, meekness, gentleness, faith and hope."  Doctrine and Covenants 8:2-3 says that the Spirit can give us ideas in the mind and feelings in the heart.  The spirit can enlighten the mind, according to Alma 32:28 and other scriptures.  The table is worth studying so that testimony seekers can learn to recognize the Spirit.

President Howard W. Hunter explained how we can discern different manifestations of the Spirit: "I get concerned when it appears that strong emotion or free-flowing tears are equated with the presence of the Spirit.  Certainly the Spirit of the Lord can bring strong emotional feelings, including tears, but that outward manifestation ought not to be confused with the presence of the Spirit itself.

"I have watched a great many of my brethren over the years and we have shared some rare and unspeakable spiritual experiences together.  Those experiences have all been different, each special in its own way, and such sacred moments may or may not be accompanied by tears.  Very often they are, but sometimes they are accompanied by total silence.  Other times they are accompanied by joy.  Always they are accompanied by a great manifestation of the truth, of revelation to the heart. . . .

"Listen for the truth, hearken to the doctrine, and let the manifestation of the Spirit come as it may in all of its many and varied forms.  Stay with solid principles; teach from a pure heart.  The the Spirit will penetrate your mind and heart and every mind and heart of your students."

Not only can there be difference manifestations of the Spirit for different situations, but also for different people.  The way the Spirit manifests itself to one person is often different from how the Spirit manifests itself to another.  We are all individuals and the way the Spirit manifests itself to us may be unique.  We should learn not just to recognize the Spirit, but also how it manifests itself to us individually and uniquely.

President Russell M. Nelson has said "It has never been more imperative to know how the Spirit speaks to you than right now."

Sources:

Packer, B. K. (1975). Teach Ye Diligently. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book.

(2004). True to the Faith: A Gospel Reference. Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Hinckley, G. B. (1998). "Testimony". Ensign, May 1998.

Missionary Preparation: Student Manual. (2005). Salt Lake City:The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Preach My Gospel. (2004). Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Teaching, No Greater Call: A Resource Guide for Gospel Teaching.  (1999).  Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

A Witness from the Spirit

The first several month of my mission were a crucible as things were extremely slow in my first area; it was four months before I was able to teach a full first discussion. A couple of days later I was transferred to my second area. At first the work picked up with my new companion, but it soon slowed and we found ourselves going to a members home to watch TV every few days. I was badly discouraged and suffering from a confidence problem.

I had already had some run-ins with folks from other churches who wanted to bash, but what really shook me was when we tracted into a Jehovah’s Witness who did not want to bash.  Instead, this lady used love and sincerity and ended up teaching us instead of the other way around.  After we left her home I found myself wondering how she could be so happy when she did not have the truth while I was so miserable when I did have the truth.

I have long since learned that God accepts all sincere expressions of faith.  Other churches have some truths, and if those truths are enough to make the members of those churches happy, who am I to argue?  As a missionary I only sought to add to the truths that others had, and searched for those who were ready to accept them.

In any case, while I had read The Book of Mormon, by now three times, and had seen my faith increase, and had thought at least that I knew the church to be true, now I was in yet another crisis.  I decided to pray that night and seek a witness from the spirit.  Before going to bed, I re-read Moroni’s Promise.  Then I turned out the light and got down on my knees.

I started with just a normal prayer, but then I stopped and tried to say what was in my heart.  I found it difficult at first, but at length the words did come.  I talked about my confusion and told my Heavenly Father of my desire to know if the Church is true.  Then I asked if the Church was true, and I felt nothing.  I cannot say that I really felt anything at all.  I again explained my desire and the reasons behind it before asking a second time.  “Father, I ask thee in the name of Jesus Christ is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth?"  Again, I felt nothing.

Now I began to plead.  “Father, please,” I said, “I need to know.”  Then I said that I perhaps needed an answer a bit more clear than others might.  I asked a third time, and again I felt nothing.  The tears welled in my eyes as I thought the answer to be no.  Oh, how much I prayed that the Church was true; I wanted it to be so very much and I told my Heavenly Father so.  The tears began to flow and for several minutes, or so it seemed, I could only cry.  Then thoughts began to flood my mind that I had wasted four and a half months there in California; that I had wasted the previous 19 years.  Not knowing what to do I closed my prayer asking for knowledge and then crawled into bed.

The tears continued to flow and I wondered what it was that I should do, for I thought that I was serving a false church.  How could I continue to do so for another eighteen months or so until it was time to go home?  I cried and I cried.  “Why couldn’t it be true?”  But there was something in me that fought back saying, “No Elder Cox, the Church is true, you know it is!”  I guess that it was the desire of wanting the Church to be true, and perhaps my love of the gospel and its message.  The tears continued to flow.  “Oh, why couldn’t it be true?”

Then something whispered to me, “Elder Cox, ask again.”  My desire that the Church be true won out.  I looked to heaven and my heart cried out, “Is the Church true Father, it is true?”  Then it happened, my feelings of pain and sorrow fled and a new feeling of peace entered my heart.  It was a warm feeling, and it was as if someone had lit a match in a darkened room.  The feeling comforted my aching heart; all tears and sorrow melted away.  That small feeling brought such great joy to me and all my burdens disappeared.  My heart cried, “It is true, it is true!  Thank you Father, thank you for answering my prayer.”  As I said this the feeling grew stronger and stronger.

I think that maybe the Lord wanted to test my sincerity and faith.  The Lord did answer my prayers, but it was not an immediate answer.  I asked Him four times if the Church was true, and it was only after the fourth time that I received my answer, and only, I think, because I had expressed such a sincere desire that the Church be true.  I think that sometimes we expect answers to be immediate, and they do not always come so quickly.  Sometimes it takes a while, as well as great sincerity and faith.

I know that the Church is true; that the Book of Mormon is the word of God; that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God; and that President Russell M. Nelson is the Lord’s prophet today.  This does not eliminate the need for faith, for I do not have a perfect knowledge of all things.  But these things I know, because I received a witness by the power of the Holy Ghost in answer to my prayer.

Now I had something rock solid to build on.  I had received a witness from the spirit and what greater witness could I have than from God?  I could say as Joseph Smith did of his vision in the Sacred Grove that I experienced what I had experienced and who am I to withstand God?  I had felt that burning within; I knew it and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it.

Then, a few weeks later, with yet another new companion at my side, something amazing happened.  We tracted into this couple, had a two hour teach and set up a return appointment.  When we went back I saw a tall stack of books by the husband’s chair, and I knew right then that we were in trouble.

After answering all the question and issues they brought up, or at least trying to, I started to bear my testimony.  I related the experience I had just had a few weeks earlier and bore the sweetest and most powerful testimony I could.  The wife got so upset at one point that she almost threw their copy of the Book of Mormon at me.  I think it was because I had said that until they had read the book and prayed about it they could not tell me that it was not true.  They tried to refute my testimony by saying that I had merely convinced myself.  I told the story again and the spirit was so strong it almost consumed me.  After we left, we got into our car to return to our flat.  My companion paused, looked at me and said that I was amazing.

But it wasn’t me, it was the spirit.  As a person of few words, I had been given many words with which to testify of the truth.  My weakness had become strong unto me.  I can still be very quiet, but when talking about a subject I know a lot about, or when bearing testimony, I can find the words, and even more, I can speak with power.  I am not telling you this to brag, for again, at least when I am discussing the gospel and bearing testimony, it is the spirit, and it is because I have tried to humble myself and have faith in Jesus Christ.  I can testify to the truthfulness of Ether 12:27, but not just from my own experience, but because of the transformations I saw in others.

In the months that followed, I had many more powerful experiences with the Spirit. The witness I received that night stood the test of time. Those additional experiences were additional witnesses regarding the truthfulness of the gospel, the church, and the Book of Mormon. Even if I had not had that witness, the many other experiences I had on my mission are still enough. I am still weak, and I often have doubts about myself, but I have no doubts about my testimony.